quidditchgrrl: (Default)
[personal profile] quidditchgrrl
Damn real life keeps intruding into my virtual time/space continuum. Wednesday night, right after I went to bed, my mind went through this incredible descriptive scenario for a fic that's been on my drive since Christmastime. And could I get up and write it out? Nooo, I had to be up for the one and only Thursday morning shift I'll probably ever work. And it was running through my head, pictures and all. Fuck.

When something like that happens to you, fellow writers, do you say damn the torpedos and get up to write? Or do you just pray that inspiration will strike twice, preferably when you're sitting in front of your monitor?

I should have gotten up and dealt with being cranky the next morning.

But today. Ah. Honeybunch and I went to lunch at the Happy Greek. Mmm, kopanisti and dates with Honeybunch. Much with the <3 there. :-)

Who the hell started the idea that being able to cook or not cook was a feminist statement? I can cook, and cook well, thanks. I can make pretty much anything except bacon gravy.

I've seen the t-shirts that say "Don't Assume I Cook!" and "Don't Assume I Fix Things!" (for the males). But why, specifically *cooking*? The ability to feed oneself on one's own is not a gender-specific thing, is it? I think *not* being able to cook is something akin to hair twirling - the assertion that you, as a woman, are incapable of taking care of yourself. That someone else must do for you and keep you happy and fed. Hello, Jessica Simpson. Is that bitchy of me?

A friend of ours married a woman who doesn't cook or clean. And now he's complaining that she *doesn't* do these things. I had to look him straight in the eye and say, "well, what the fuck did you expect? She didn't cook or clean for the 3 years you dated, including the year you lived together before the wedding. It's a little late now to start complaining." He didn't seem to understand that cooking or not cooking is not a power play or feminist statement, but a simple matter of ability and preference.

Honeybunch is not the best of cooks. Convenience stores were made for him. I accept this, not because he's a guy (and I should expect this?), but because he is impatient about cooking and making things from scratch is irritating to him. And if he's willing to pay for the pizza or cafe courier, I don't mind eating it! :D

I do have to admit that cooking can be tantamount to female competition for approval and acceptance. I hate potlucks sometimes, because there are those folks (mainly women, there are men like this too, I'm sure) who get very offended when their 'signature' dish isn't the rave of the party. I've been the displacer a few times, and it ain't pretty. It's not that I set out to best anyone on purpose, I just like to make good food for people. And new stuff is going to be well-received. The last time, I got raves for my veggie pizza, which pissed off a co-worker who competes in cook-offs and county fair competitions. It was just...bizarre. The claws came out and...whoa. You'd have thought I'd been plotting to take over 'her' place since I heard there was a potluck lunch. It sounds really funny, but it was certainly a new arena of cattiness I'd never experienced.

But I'm eating some kick-ass lasagna tonight, and it ain't got nothing to do with being a girl.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-21 10:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tonksnymphadora.livejournal.com
I think this has to do with the whole roles of male and females from the beginning of time. Men killed dinner, women cooked and served it. *shrug* Maybe, maybe not.

But oh yes, I am sure you are after that lady's place in history as a good cook, ya know. Women are catty, no doubt about it.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-21 11:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] archchancellor.livejournal.com
I can cook quite well, my Mum made me learn.She wanted to make sure I could feed my self when i left home.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-21 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quidditchgrrl.livejournal.com
Damn straight! I can't understand why someone would refuse to learn to feed themselves once they are on their own, in the name of some sense of feminine/masculine role playing.

You need to have some skills in the kitchen to survive, right? Being able to whip something up goes a long way to having a satisfying meal sometimes.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-22 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prettygnomeface.livejournal.com
I learnt how to cook by myself. My mum can't cook for beans but we still love her.

The best cook in our family is my Uncle who works at a bank. He cooks to feed (literally ;)) his creative side.

I do love cooking, but every night? Quick! What's the number for the Chinese Takeaway place down the road? Wait. No money. Well I guess it's re-heated left overs for me. Lasagna sounds good. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-22 04:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shellyk.livejournal.com
Hmmmm. For me, it's more of: "I detest cooking" than anything else. I hate it. With a passion. I'd rather have someone else cook for me, thank you very much. Cooking bores me. It takes forever, and by the time I'm finished, I'm not hungry anymore. And, I'm absolutely not creative at all when it comes to substituting things or using spices. It usually comes out rather unpleasant when I try something "different".

I can cook if I absolutely have to. I can follow recipes, but don't ask me to deviate from it. I am very good at making chicken fingers and oven fries. =) I'm not into trying new things, especially if I've not been taught how to do it or given a recipe. However, give me a BBQ, and I'm a happy woman. I *love* to BBQ.

Ed's a bit more natural in the kitchen than I am, but he was never taught how to cook, so he also has to follow recipes. He likes to cook way more than I do, so I'm happy to let him do it. But mostly, we eat out because I just can't be arsed to cook anything when I get home from work.

For me, it has nothing to do with feminism, as much as laziness.


Date: 2004-02-22 05:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] siriologist.livejournal.com
I'm with shelly on the detesting cooking stuff. I can feed me and my family. It's not pretty, but then I have two who can't do milk products of any kind (which eliminates any cream or cheese sauce) and one who doesn't like any meats. Just takes a lot of the fun out of things.

I think it tends to be a feminist statement in that as a girl it's expected that you like to cook, and while I can cook so we don't starve I don't enjoy it and get ticked when its expected that I'll do all the feeding.


Date: 2004-02-22 10:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quidditchgrrl.livejournal.com
Yes, for sure. Honeybunch dislikes all vegetables, chicken, fish, and most normal food. That sucks all the fun out of cooking and makes it a chore.

It's the expectation that learning to cook and *liking* to cook means that you're somehow kow-towing to TPTB and participating in some anti-feminist sentiment by admitting it that bothers me so much.

Although, there's nothing that kills my enthusiasm for cooking than the assumption that it's my job because I'm the 'little woman.' >:O

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-22 05:39 am (UTC)
ext_21608: (Default)
From: [identity profile] roguebitch.livejournal.com

It's funny -- in our family growing up, learning to cook was part of our chores, and we'd switch off making Sunday brunch between the four family members.

But now? I am the main cook in my family because I know how to plan a meal and have the flexibility to be creative in the kitchen. My sister? She is a happy bachelorette that intends to marry a man that can cook. Not because she *can't*, but because she prefers not to. She is the takeout queen.

If you're raised in a gender-role neutral family, I suppose cooking comes down to preference more than anything else.

I brought cold asparagus soup to our last block party and I think everyone was totally amazed I knew how to make something so haute-cuisine-seeming. Looking as punk rock as I do and all. ;->

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-22 10:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quidditchgrrl.livejournal.com
Yes, you punk rockers never seem to eat, either! ;-)

I don't worry about people who prefer not to cook (or simply aren't good at it), but I hate when someone says, "Oh, I don't cook, I never could be bothered" or "Cooking is something women are supposed to do" (which is what *female* co-worker of mine told me grrr).

My sister and I taught all of our nephews and kids we babysat to cook. Some family friends of ours could never figure out how their oldest son learned how to make all kinds of cookies and cakes when they'd never showed him how to cook. We don't mention the show tunes we taught him though. ;)


Date: 2004-02-22 01:18 pm (UTC)
ext_21608: (Default)
From: [identity profile] roguebitch.livejournal.com
Yes, you punk rockers never seem to eat, either! ;-)


Oh, if only that were true. I am a comfy size 12, thank you. I like my curves.

We don't mention the show tunes we taught him though. ;)

*stifles laughter*

Yeah, that might get him into more trouble than the cooking, depending on the surroundings!

I lived for 5 years with musician who worked as a cook and learnt a whole lot about vegetarian cooking. It was nice to be able to rotate the cooking duty. The one time I tried to institute the rotating cooking schedule with my husband, I discovered that those with poor organizational or planning skills should generally not be in on the menu construction -- unless we wanted to eat out all the time. Which is nice, but...expensive.

My sister likes to claim that she can't cook, but she makes a far, far better beef stroganoff than I do!

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-22 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lina-granger.livejournal.com
Kopanisti,eh? :grins:
Thanks for the restaurant's link,it's very interesting for me to see how Greek restaurants look like abroad.
I don't know if you've ever heard,but I'm Greek and live in Greece. SO if you want any greek recipy (since we're talking about cooking here) I'd be glad to oblige...


(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-22 08:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quidditchgrrl.livejournal.com
Mm, thanks, I'll keep that in mind! :)

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-22 10:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] badonkatonks.livejournal.com
A friend of ours married a woman who doesn't cook or clean....uh, so is my husband...LOL!

Oh yeah, for those moments when I can't get to writing ASAP while in the middle of a 'muse-fit,' I do one of two things: 1. keep a tiny notebook with me at all times to briefly document my moments of inspiration or, 2. Carry a micro-mini-cassette recorder and dictate my moments of mad creativity...this is especially helpful for the fits filled with dialog.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-22 10:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quidditchgrrl.livejournal.com
I need to keep a notebook by the bed - I tend to get my best ideas just before I drift off to sleep. I have a micro cassette recorder and have used it before, but I always feel a bit silly. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-22 01:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] killerbeautiful.livejournal.com
i think i usually get up and at least jot down the basic ideas, plot and a few keywords to help me remember the images i had.


my aunt wrote her dissertation in sociology on dinner parties and food and the social implications of it. i think the idea is really fascinating; who cooks, why, what you eat and why, is it about culture or gender or any other defining factor... i don't know, i can cook and i'm proud of it, and a big part of me agrees with your jessica simpson statement. i have always thought cooking was a skill that everyone should have, and some of the best cooks i know are men (my grandfather and a good friend of mine who's in culinary school both come to mind.) i think the space where it get sketchy is when men are called 'chefs' and it's given a more high-class connotation than women who 'just cook' are thought of as being housewives stuck in the kitchen with the apron strings and all that. that somehow cooking pot pie is a woman's job but that making gourmet dessert is a man's. :shrug: i don't know, i suppose that's more of the sociological stuff that i don't understand. but now i want lasagna, dammit. :grins:

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-22 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quidditchgrrl.livejournal.com
Agreed. It seems people give so much more attention when it's a man who's doing the cooking. Women are expected to be doing it, I guess.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-02-22 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seakays.livejournal.com
Loved the commentary Donna,

I do cook and really love to. Always have and suspect I always will.

But so does my brother, mother and father. We always cooked and baked and enjoyed the whole process of cooking and eating and mealtime. It never had anything to do with any type of female/male stuff.

*Runs away to turn oven off and take out Apple Cake*



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