Just shut the door so I can scream
Dec. 6th, 2004 11:26 pmYes, I live. I'm upright for short amounts of time right now, getting through email and other things slowly but surely. Eleven days in the pokey (God, literally, I look like a junkie) will do that to you.
And thank you, thank you, thank you for all your well-wishes and emails, means the world.
Large and small bowel blockages (yeah, that's what you think it is, which reminds me of the new South Park with Paris Hilton...) removed. Slightly diseased gall bladder excised. Large and small intestines stuck together in several places and twisted around each other separated (yum). Approximately half of my left nostril ripped off when they removed my NG tube (double yum).
While I felt 100% better post-op, I've been in what can only be called excruciating pain since. :( The subject line is what I told the evil nurse my last night in the hospital.
Last night, I had what can nearest be called a nervous breakdown. I put the bottle of pain killers away because they were calling me, mocking me. Here we are. So easy, virtually painless, right? I'll never know how my mother managed three and a half years of this. (And no, don't go all OH EM GEE someone call ElJay abuse, I'm not suicidal, but writing it down makes it more concrete and I really need to think about this some more and what it tells me. Cause I'm like the least suicidal person ever.)
This morning I hit my breaking point. I had to go to get my hand checked out (the night nurse my last night blew my vein big time and my hand is still huge and stiff). I didn't know the first name of my surgeon. The hysteria was a little alarming, but I managed not to sob through the doctor's visit. But ya know what? I felt better. I feel better. I'm getting better. Life is expanding beyond the microcosm of my body.
Christmas cards are sketchy. Gifts will be Target-issue (because we have a lot of gift cards from the wedding). I will return to work the Monday after Christmas. I am so lucky to have someone who, while not flashy or dramatic, keeps the house in order and looks after me better than anyone else would.
I will survive. Nyah. :P
And thank you, thank you, thank you for all your well-wishes and emails, means the world.
Large and small bowel blockages (yeah, that's what you think it is, which reminds me of the new South Park with Paris Hilton...) removed. Slightly diseased gall bladder excised. Large and small intestines stuck together in several places and twisted around each other separated (yum). Approximately half of my left nostril ripped off when they removed my NG tube (double yum).
While I felt 100% better post-op, I've been in what can only be called excruciating pain since. :( The subject line is what I told the evil nurse my last night in the hospital.
Last night, I had what can nearest be called a nervous breakdown. I put the bottle of pain killers away because they were calling me, mocking me. Here we are. So easy, virtually painless, right? I'll never know how my mother managed three and a half years of this. (And no, don't go all OH EM GEE someone call ElJay abuse, I'm not suicidal, but writing it down makes it more concrete and I really need to think about this some more and what it tells me. Cause I'm like the least suicidal person ever.)
This morning I hit my breaking point. I had to go to get my hand checked out (the night nurse my last night blew my vein big time and my hand is still huge and stiff). I didn't know the first name of my surgeon. The hysteria was a little alarming, but I managed not to sob through the doctor's visit. But ya know what? I felt better. I feel better. I'm getting better. Life is expanding beyond the microcosm of my body.
Christmas cards are sketchy. Gifts will be Target-issue (because we have a lot of gift cards from the wedding). I will return to work the Monday after Christmas. I am so lucky to have someone who, while not flashy or dramatic, keeps the house in order and looks after me better than anyone else would.
I will survive. Nyah. :P
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 08:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 08:29 pm (UTC)Girl, you scared the heck out of a lot of people here.
Take it easy. Don't do too much. To hell with Christmas, cards and the like. Your family should be waiting on YOU hand and foot.
*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 08:33 pm (UTC)I'm so happy to see your name on my friends list!!!
Much love and hugs to you!!
*hugs and kisses*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 08:37 pm (UTC)I'm glad you have your husband.
Love,
Beth
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 08:39 pm (UTC)PS -- your
*hugshugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 08:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 09:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 09:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 09:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 09:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 09:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 10:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-06 10:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-07 03:52 am (UTC)I"m glad to see you posting again, darling. Take your time and get better. I miss you like crazy, but will await a healthy PBG.
If you need anything, give me a call, alright?
*hugs gingerly*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-07 04:55 am (UTC)I'm so glad to see you post and know you are on the road to recovery. I'm sending lots of healing vibes to speed your recovery along. Squeezy hugs and warm wishes that you feel 100% again very soon.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-07 05:57 am (UTC)Was so worried. Make sure you keep taking pain meds.
<3 your honey. We're lucky chicks.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-07 09:40 am (UTC)I'm so glad to see you're back and getting better. Let's hope this whole thing can be left behind you for good.
Interstitial IV's really piss me off! Your nurse should have been checking that site at least once an hour.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-07 10:38 am (UTC)Get better soon I hope.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-07 02:42 pm (UTC)Love and Kisses,
Jacquie
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-07 07:17 pm (UTC)SosososoSO glad you're back among the posting again. I'm sorry you're having all these hurdles right now and hope that there's smooth sailing ahead soon.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-08 08:44 am (UTC)Tried to send you an email the other day based on the one the hubby left on your lj, and unfortunately it bounced back.
But anyways, glad to see you are feeling better. Under the weather myself lately. We should send emails once you feel better.
Hugs,
S