GIP and Boring Life Stuff

I wanted to go to bed early last night. I've been too worried and too amped to sleep. *sigh*

I did manage to tear myself away from the computer and sit on the couch to watch TDS/TCR, because I felt like I needed to see them giggling. I wasn't disappointed!

Is it just me, or was last night the first time Stephen has ever kissed a woman on-screen?! Still, hot. (That wasn't his wife, right? Lucky, lucky girl.)

But now, I am le tired. And I can't have a nap.

Writing yet another re-training document for an employee who is about as useful as overcooked spaghetti. The most frustrating part? That *I* did this part of his training, but he has completely forgotten everything he's learned in the last two months. It's like he has short-term memory loss; every day is like his first day on the job. But we can't just let him go, oh no! We have to retrain him for the 6483651206th time. *headdesk*

It's That Time of Year Again!

rachet reminded me that it's sandal season (fie to all of you who think you live in LA and wear flip-flops all year long).

Just a friendly reminder, it's that time of the year again.

Please raise your BIG TOE and repeat after me:

As a member of the Faux Paux Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it. No matter how much it hurts.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids'sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes look like they've been dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the world is going to make her feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them. NEW: I promise that I will not wear black flip=flops that turn the soles of my feet black. I will throw them away and buy a better pair.

I will promise to go to my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth EVERY penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get a even better one.

And finally...

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals...

For all our sakes, please don't keep this to yourself - pass it on!

(no subject)

Shirley Manson is an instant orgasm.

Holy moley. I need a shower. *girlcrusheslikewhoa*

More good news: the Meat Puppets are reuniting!