(no subject)

[quidditchgrrl]

I realized tonight that I hadn't done my requested rants.  Boo on me, but I definitely have a couple of them covered tonight, after a conversation 1anonymous1 and I had tonight.



A little kernel of this began when a couple of my younger girls (there are several 11-year-olds in my Assembly right now, squee) proclamed that they like Britney much better than Xtina - "she's skanky," one of the young'uns said in reference to...

Christina Aguliera.  O.o

I was a bit miffed at that (I mean, yeah, Xtina's image is a bit skanky) and we had a discussion about public image versus private behavior.

Britney Spears is a white-trash princess.  I hate to even include her in the same gene pool I come from, but she fits all the criteria:

--Dyes hair brassy blonde at first opportunity
--Becomes instant jailbait, lies about being a virgin
--Cheats on the only respectable boyfriend she ever had
--Immediately starts cruising trailer parks for a new boyfriend, who walks around with his ass hanging out of his pants and month's worth of scraggly beard growth
--Finds next best thing, and marries him in Vegas
--Is back cruising trailer parks 55 hours later, finds her soul mate
--Lures redneck boyfriend from only respectable girlfriend baby mama he's ever had
--Prances around barefoot in icky t-shirts, flips off the population of Mexico, and kisses Madonna a woman old enough to be her mother
--Smokes like a chimney, saying she "likes the way it makes her voice sound"  (and how is that?  Like a middle-aged female truck driver?)
--Buys her redneck boytoy even more ill-fitting clothes and pimp-o-licious hats
--Buys her own engagement ring
--"Marries" redneck in pseudo-ceremony
--Will end up pregnant, divorced, and paying palimony

Let's compare, shall we?

Xtina:
--Has overprocessed hair (blonde, black, pink, and Oh Em Gee)
--Becomes instant jailbait, refuses to discuss her virginity in the media
--Has been dating Federline fashion victim the same man for two years; said man has job!
--Dresses (fairly) normally outside of publicity photos


My point?  Britney is living her public image, while Xtina has a life.  And THAT is why I hate Britney Spears - she can't separate fantasy from reality, and lots of girls look at her hijinks and think that's what life is like.  Screw that.  Life is not being a MILF in training or attacking annoying people with milkshakes.

Well, unless you're queenkatieett or something.  :D



And, as 1anonymous1 pointed out tonight, J.Lo. is obviously a succubus.  Discuss amongst yourselves. 

Comments

[teshara.livejournal.com]

I agree with the seperation of fantasy and reality, but she's a Disney girl. What did people really expect from a Mouseketeer?

[photosinensis.livejournal.com]

Good points about the both of them. I'd like to add another. Christina, while her music is terrible, has a decent singing voice. At least, it's one that could be passible if she were to get better material.

Jailbait? Yeah, Christina was that for a while, but she didn't play it up nearly as much as Britney did. She was jailbait without having to do anything to sex herself up. In fact, she didn't even start the whole mega-sexing thing until after she was of age. Can't say the same about Ms. Spears. And at least she's had the decency not to trouble us with her sex life, because frankly, we don't care.

But yeah, most of Christina's problems are centered around her image, hair, and musical taste. She doesn't make gossip fodder out of herself outside of her performances. Yes, we heard a lot about the "Dirrty" video, but that was about something she did for her art form, not for the whole image thing.

[twistedrecesses.livejournal.com]

In my world, Brittany Spears does not exist.

I'm convinced she's a mass halucination brought on by the same stupid Sheep that voted for Dubya.

Besides which, Christina Aguilera has talent. Yay pretty music!

[1anonymous1.livejournal.com]

I love you so, so much.

[queenkatieett.livejournal.com]

OhmyGod, I seriously hope I'm a MILF in training. Like, even more than I hope to have a reason to attack someone with a milkshake someday. And I want to attack someone with a milkshake pretty badly.

[instantramen]

And don't forget the Magical Growing Boobs! Because admitting to plastic surgery is baaaad.

Miss Lopez becomes the dominant half of Bennifer. Gigli is born. Bennifer splits back into its original parts, leaving Ben a soul-drained acting-weary mummy while Jennifer moves on to find fresh prey. She ends up with Marc Anthony, who is secretly a Very Powerful Wizard and imprisons Jennifer to be his wife. To date, she has yet to escape his clutches, but she fed on many souls before being captured and is expected to live without eating for quite some time.

[quidditchgrrl.livejournal.com]

This assumes Ben was ever in possession of a soul.

[instantramen]

Considering how long Bennifer existed, he must have had at least a decent substitute. Or maybe he was a soulless Not Very Powerful Wizard and managed to hold her but a little while, something like Mommy Fortuna and the harpy in The Last Unicorn.