Sometimes it's fun to be the Fat Chick!
Nov. 7th, 2003 09:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quidditchgrrl*looks down at cryptic post* Erm. Sorry about that. I was having an off week.
I am one of those pathetic chicks who have a bit of an eating disorder. I do a little binge and purge here and there when I get stressed out. Last week it happened twice, which I haven't done since I was in college. Now I'm overdrawn in my bank account but otherwise okay.
I was bummed about a couple of things. First of all, Honeybunch and I haven't had honest-to-goodness sex for more than six months. Yes, that's right, I'm sick of oral sex. Not truly complaining, you understand, but...well, sometimes you need a little more! There's just a general feeling of "I get you off, you get me off, and then we can go to sleep". Of course that drives me crazy, and I go to the Bad Place more than is safe for me.
And then this situation with my employee; her last annual evaluation looks almost the same as this one - constant call-offs, tardiness, constant scheduling requests - and I can't understand why I have to futz with her any more. But you've all heard my whinging about that, so I'll spare you. :-) I just realized that she didn't show up to work today when she asked to change her schedule. >:O
The upside of this past week was signing up for a spinning class. You know, structured bicycle riding. It was a goal of mine when I began working out, to be in shape enough to do the class. So I've made it this far.
I noticed that some of the people in the class were glancing at me out of the corner of their eyes. Eventually I figured out that I was the Fat Chick in the class, and those women were comparing their pace to mine. So, I ramped up my workout and just killed 'em! I have a lot of endurance and once I put my mind into it I kept ahead of their pace just enough that they were huffing and puffing and giving their all to keep up.
Barely made it out of there without puking, but man, it was worth every second, and it'll be worth every ache and pain I'll have tomorrow. Hee. *refuses to feel guilty about mean-spritedness*
I am one of those pathetic chicks who have a bit of an eating disorder. I do a little binge and purge here and there when I get stressed out. Last week it happened twice, which I haven't done since I was in college. Now I'm overdrawn in my bank account but otherwise okay.
I was bummed about a couple of things. First of all, Honeybunch and I haven't had honest-to-goodness sex for more than six months. Yes, that's right, I'm sick of oral sex. Not truly complaining, you understand, but...well, sometimes you need a little more! There's just a general feeling of "I get you off, you get me off, and then we can go to sleep". Of course that drives me crazy, and I go to the Bad Place more than is safe for me.
And then this situation with my employee; her last annual evaluation looks almost the same as this one - constant call-offs, tardiness, constant scheduling requests - and I can't understand why I have to futz with her any more. But you've all heard my whinging about that, so I'll spare you. :-) I just realized that she didn't show up to work today when she asked to change her schedule. >:O
The upside of this past week was signing up for a spinning class. You know, structured bicycle riding. It was a goal of mine when I began working out, to be in shape enough to do the class. So I've made it this far.
I noticed that some of the people in the class were glancing at me out of the corner of their eyes. Eventually I figured out that I was the Fat Chick in the class, and those women were comparing their pace to mine. So, I ramped up my workout and just killed 'em! I have a lot of endurance and once I put my mind into it I kept ahead of their pace just enough that they were huffing and puffing and giving their all to keep up.
Barely made it out of there without puking, but man, it was worth every second, and it'll be worth every ache and pain I'll have tomorrow. Hee. *refuses to feel guilty about mean-spritedness*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-07 07:11 pm (UTC)Honestly, I think there is something in the air, it seems everyone I know, myself included, has been having a difficult time lately. Don't worry, the year is over soon.
And, not to be nosey, but is there a reason why you and your honeybunch haven't had real sex? Isn't there a way you could stage a seduction? I can't imagine he'd complain too much. And, don't call yourself fat, you are a beautiful woman, and you need to give yourself credit for that.
(((hugs)))
Kele
Who is this crazy stranger?
Date: 2003-11-07 07:46 pm (UTC)I just wanted to tell you I love your icon and to comment on your post despite the fact that you probably have no idea who I am. I think it's awesome that you showed the "skinny bitches" (as I refer to those in my last aerobics class) what's what. As someone who has been the "Fat Chick" more times than I care to remember, I commend you for not lowering your head and leaving. I think there is something in the air. It has been the worst and best year for a lot of people I know, myself included. I hope things get better for you... *sending good vibes*
It's admirable that you're buckling down and making stuff happen rather than just letting it go. Slip-ups will happen, especially when it comes to eating disorders or other forms of addiction. Don't be discouraged.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-07 08:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-08 06:46 am (UTC)You know, you've always been so strong for me. You were there to pull me out of my bad place a few weeks ago. I think I understand the frustration with Honeybunch. It's hard. It's really hard. It could just be a phase (and really long one at that), but I don't know without putting on the social worker hat and greasing up the pencil to analyze the situation.
If you need/want me to come to Columbus sometime just to be an ear, please tell me. I will be more then willing. In fact, my schedule next week is:
Monday: Class from 130-848 (free prior and post)
Tuesday Group Project meeting from 12 - ?? but can make myself available prior and post
Wednesday: Most likely be in Columbus all day studying and researching can make myself available at any time.
Thursday: Christmas shopping
Friday: training from 9-3, work from 12m - 8 (on saturday), so pretty unavailable
Saturday: free most of the day, would like to sleep at some point
Sunday: work from 8-4, free after that.
Let me know you have the numbers
(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-08 10:08 am (UTC)I'm sorry to hear you're not having a good week. I've never been able to be in a stable relationship, so I will keep my mouth shut on the Honeybunch situation and just cross my fingers hoping it will be better soon.
Your employee sounds like an idiot and you have every right to whine as much as you need. It's nearly impossible to run a place with a person with an attitude like hers. What do the other shelvers say to her slacking? It must influence them too since they are the ones who has to do what she doesn't?
Love your icon btw.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-08 11:26 am (UTC)*Hugs gently* Go you on the spinning class. I consider myself pretty darn fit and one spinning class just about killed me. I much prefer weight training myself.
I'm sorry things haven't been going well either with Honeybunch or work. I can only hope both improve quickly.
Much love,
Sue
Re: Who is this crazy stranger?
Date: 2003-11-09 02:49 pm (UTC)Thanks for the good vibes. I've never been one to back down from a challenge, and I wasn't going to give up my goal because of some skinny bitches! Strangely they have a tougher time than I do keeping up. Must be all this extra weight I've been dragging around! :-D
(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-09 02:54 pm (UTC)Our relationship is fine, everything other than (the lack of) *that* is great. I can only guess that he assumes that my orgasm is so important that as long as I have one, I'm happy and satisfied. Gah, I can't believe that I'm thinking about intimacy in a sexual setting. :-P We'll have to hash it out, but unfortunately he has the communication skills of canon!Ron sometimes.
Thanks for the good vibes, babe. I'm sending some your way too.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-11-09 02:55 pm (UTC)I am insanely busy this coming week, but we should make some plans soon! :-)