I am a fandom Secret-Keeper.
Jun. 2nd, 2003 11:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quidditchgrrlI swore that when I entered the fandom proper, I would not get caught up in the treachery that has marred the HP fandom over the past couple of years. I would refuse to engage in the petty arguments and flame wars, and simply enjoy the fan fiction and witticisms that make being a fandom member enjoyable.
I should have known that the fandom imitates life. My personality has always been that of mediator. It's what I do - I tend to see both sides of a story, and think things through before I either act to bring the two sides to an agreement or decide that things are better left unsaid. No matter how many times I tell myself, 'you are not going to get involved,' I inevitably make friends on both sides of the line.
Maybe I should just choose an unusual pairing and be done with it. Padfoot/Narcissa, OTP!
I have never badmouthed anyone publically or privately in a manner that I would not present to them personally. There have been many times that I've felt that people were trying to get me to badmouth a friend to further their own aims, whether for ego-stroking or to be able to say that I choose sides. I call 'em like I see 'em, with a liberal dash of diplomacy across the top.
I don't worry too much about friends-protecting my posts or whether or not a post is friends-protected. If it's not in their favor to speak to me personally, I figure they have a reason not to do so. I'm infinitely paranoid, but I try not to let it keep me up nights. I'll probably be up half the night tonight, just wondering.
I have never lowered myself to being a tattle-tale. I don't tend to snark much, and I don't snark in private. If asked to keep something low-key or private, I do so. I'd expect that from anyone, and I don't resent that they expect it from me. A lot of what I say are simply verbal *pats* and *shrugs*. Everyone needs a chance to wibble to someone they know will understand it as such, and not save Y!M conversations or friends-protected entries to throw in their face later. When I see these things come to light after the fact, I immediately wonder about the motivation of the poster, and what they have to gain from a public (or private) flogging of someone's character.
This isn't to say that I don't indulge in my fair share of wibbling or hair-pulling frustration, but it certainly hurts a lot more when your innate sense of fairness is tossed back in your face and you are subjected to passive-aggressive emotional manipulation. I haven't had a great, emotion-bearing conversation with many people in the fandom because of the fear that my opinions, thoughts, and feelings will be made public and held up for taunting. I keep my thoughts to myself - it's safer that way - but I am not going to brush away what I have said as untrue to what I felt at the time.
I should have known that the fandom imitates life. My personality has always been that of mediator. It's what I do - I tend to see both sides of a story, and think things through before I either act to bring the two sides to an agreement or decide that things are better left unsaid. No matter how many times I tell myself, 'you are not going to get involved,' I inevitably make friends on both sides of the line.
Maybe I should just choose an unusual pairing and be done with it. Padfoot/Narcissa, OTP!
I have never badmouthed anyone publically or privately in a manner that I would not present to them personally. There have been many times that I've felt that people were trying to get me to badmouth a friend to further their own aims, whether for ego-stroking or to be able to say that I choose sides. I call 'em like I see 'em, with a liberal dash of diplomacy across the top.
I don't worry too much about friends-protecting my posts or whether or not a post is friends-protected. If it's not in their favor to speak to me personally, I figure they have a reason not to do so. I'm infinitely paranoid, but I try not to let it keep me up nights. I'll probably be up half the night tonight, just wondering.
I have never lowered myself to being a tattle-tale. I don't tend to snark much, and I don't snark in private. If asked to keep something low-key or private, I do so. I'd expect that from anyone, and I don't resent that they expect it from me. A lot of what I say are simply verbal *pats* and *shrugs*. Everyone needs a chance to wibble to someone they know will understand it as such, and not save Y!M conversations or friends-protected entries to throw in their face later. When I see these things come to light after the fact, I immediately wonder about the motivation of the poster, and what they have to gain from a public (or private) flogging of someone's character.
This isn't to say that I don't indulge in my fair share of wibbling or hair-pulling frustration, but it certainly hurts a lot more when your innate sense of fairness is tossed back in your face and you are subjected to passive-aggressive emotional manipulation. I haven't had a great, emotion-bearing conversation with many people in the fandom because of the fear that my opinions, thoughts, and feelings will be made public and held up for taunting. I keep my thoughts to myself - it's safer that way - but I am not going to brush away what I have said as untrue to what I felt at the time.
