I'm in love with your ghost
Aug. 30th, 2006 11:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quidditchgrrlEr, sorry about my last cryptic posts. I haven't been in the mood to enumerate the various bad things that have happened recently. Add the below to a raging case of PMS, and yeah. Cryptic.
After much ruminating on the year anniversary of Katrina and all of the people still suffering, I have to say to myself: don't get too comfortable with the little inconveniences of life - you know where your family is, and you can go to the space you call home.
Here's the last three months of my life, in a nutshell, cut for the disinterested and for length:
Work: We have a new building manager, who is, in her own words, "a bull in a china shop." It's been at times wonderful (if we're really behind, she issues orders for other departments to help shelve/check in reserves) and horrible (telling our staff to "smile, dammit").
I've also been feeling that I'm at the end of my useful life in my position. Because we're both insanely busy and grossly understaffed, I've been working the desk 10-15 hours a week. We're gearing up for a remodel and restructuring of how we "market" books, and I need to be out in the stacks helping and analyzing, shifting and planning. Nothing is worse than going out to the shelves to find things completely changed, or shelvers coming back confused - and I have no idea what's going on. It's been a struggle to find time to do even mundane things like check email or write evaluations, much less offer coaching and training to new staff. I've been leaning heavily on my more senior staff, and bless them, they've taken the reins with nary an arched eyebrow.
Several people also emailed me about a position that opened up at another local library, and I would have applied if two of our "desirable turnovers" weren't currently working there. I'd hate to have to deal with them again, and they really deserve to suck at their job without me chasing them around.
I'd love to find another library job that I could come in, streamline and improve processes, and then leave happy. I really need to take some HR courses.
But...
I can't do anything school-wise until we have our taxes straightened out. This has been the crux of most of my blues. Honeybunch is a courier, and he is paid without taxes deducted. Because of this, he owes back taxes. He didn't file in 2004 or 2005. Whenever I asked about it, he'd get pissy and refuse to talk about it. And I couldn't file my 2005 taxes because if you are married and don't file jointly, you can't take your student loan deduction. So, he talked me into giving him my tax information to give to the guy who works with his boss' accounts. Then, nothing. Still, nothing. I file for an extension. Nothing. Every time I'd mention it, increasingly panicked, I'd get an excuse - the accountant is sick, out of town, I didn't get to talk to him, ad infinitum. I can't file separately because all of my paperwork is with the accountant. The IRS sent Honeybunch a nasty letter telling him to file, NOW.
The worst about this is that my dad did something like this to my mom, hiding money and IRS trouble from her, so it hits a very strong chord with me that makes me insane. And worse, we really don't have the money to pay in a lump sum. So we are, how do you say, LE FUCKED.
The very last straw came when I asked HB if he'd heard anything about the taxes - the accountant had been in the office - and he asked why I needed to know what was going on. *headdesk madly* Talk about violating the marriage contract. I seriously thought about just moving out at that point, because I was fast losing perspective on why I married this man. One of the reasons I decided to go to Vegas was to get away from HB for a while, and I didn't miss him for one minute while I was gone.
In addition to our money woes, there's the car:
I think I mentioned back in March that Honeybunch's car blew its transmission. Well, we're STILL working with one car. STILL. Sometimes my husband displays such poor judgment, it's unbelievable - 99% of the time he's the most straight-shooting person, but then...
Instead of following my instinct and talking to my dad (who knows every mechanic in a three-state area, it seems), Andy's boss talks him into turning the car over to a friend of a friend - which violates the two-removed rule of favor-asking. Yeah, this guy, once he got the $750 for the transmission, has been sitting on the damn thing since. It got to the point where Honeybunch had to call and threaten to call the police if his phone call wasn't returned.
The guy's wife called back. :) Then we got action, and the car was here in less than two weeks. Unfortunately, the guy BLEW THE ENGINE on the way down. So, back it went.
We'll be lucky to get the damn thing back by Christmas. And if my car lasts through Honeybunch's driving, it'll be a miracle. I've had to keep up with the maintenance on the car, and do preventative maintenance because HB will drive the damn thing dry of oil before he'd think to change the oil in MY car. He drives my car like it's a rental, which pisses me off every time he takes me somewhere. So, like, every damn day.
Things are looking up at the moment.
I sat HB down and told him, in no uncertain terms, that I couldn't go on like this. If he couldn't get his side of things together, and keep me updated, our relationship would be over.
Right now, we know what we owe for 2005, and the accountant is working HB's 2004 numbers to see what he can do. The numbers are MUCH lower than we'd anticipated. We'll get our own accountant and set up quarterly payments from now on.
I have another possible job opportunity coming down the pike which will certainly help to get the bills paid down and us on a track to more solvency. HB can help, and if I'm tapped for two responsibilities - it'll be service and double the money.
Thanks to those of you who've heard bits and pieces of these things and offered sympathy and support. It means a lot when you can't go to your family.
I'm so happy to see all of the wonderful things that are happening to people on my flist. New cars, babies, jobs, interviews, decorating, houses. To those of you who are having some angst, you have my sympathy and lots of positive vibes headed your way *eyes![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
merrydrought and blue_eye*
Finally, I've been under a small hiatus on news this past week (this is why I've been less responsive lately,authenticpoppy) - I was getting to the point where I couldn't listen to NPR news without my chin wobbling. The Harry Connick, Jr. single had me flat-out bawling last night, after listening to an interview with a man in NO who is sharing a small trailer with two other men, and who doesn't know where his father, brothers, or 6 year old daughter are. My problems? Not so bad.
After much ruminating on the year anniversary of Katrina and all of the people still suffering, I have to say to myself: don't get too comfortable with the little inconveniences of life - you know where your family is, and you can go to the space you call home.
Here's the last three months of my life, in a nutshell, cut for the disinterested and for length:
Work: We have a new building manager, who is, in her own words, "a bull in a china shop." It's been at times wonderful (if we're really behind, she issues orders for other departments to help shelve/check in reserves) and horrible (telling our staff to "smile, dammit").
I've also been feeling that I'm at the end of my useful life in my position. Because we're both insanely busy and grossly understaffed, I've been working the desk 10-15 hours a week. We're gearing up for a remodel and restructuring of how we "market" books, and I need to be out in the stacks helping and analyzing, shifting and planning. Nothing is worse than going out to the shelves to find things completely changed, or shelvers coming back confused - and I have no idea what's going on. It's been a struggle to find time to do even mundane things like check email or write evaluations, much less offer coaching and training to new staff. I've been leaning heavily on my more senior staff, and bless them, they've taken the reins with nary an arched eyebrow.
Several people also emailed me about a position that opened up at another local library, and I would have applied if two of our "desirable turnovers" weren't currently working there. I'd hate to have to deal with them again, and they really deserve to suck at their job without me chasing them around.
I'd love to find another library job that I could come in, streamline and improve processes, and then leave happy. I really need to take some HR courses.
But...
I can't do anything school-wise until we have our taxes straightened out. This has been the crux of most of my blues. Honeybunch is a courier, and he is paid without taxes deducted. Because of this, he owes back taxes. He didn't file in 2004 or 2005. Whenever I asked about it, he'd get pissy and refuse to talk about it. And I couldn't file my 2005 taxes because if you are married and don't file jointly, you can't take your student loan deduction. So, he talked me into giving him my tax information to give to the guy who works with his boss' accounts. Then, nothing. Still, nothing. I file for an extension. Nothing. Every time I'd mention it, increasingly panicked, I'd get an excuse - the accountant is sick, out of town, I didn't get to talk to him, ad infinitum. I can't file separately because all of my paperwork is with the accountant. The IRS sent Honeybunch a nasty letter telling him to file, NOW.
The worst about this is that my dad did something like this to my mom, hiding money and IRS trouble from her, so it hits a very strong chord with me that makes me insane. And worse, we really don't have the money to pay in a lump sum. So we are, how do you say, LE FUCKED.
The very last straw came when I asked HB if he'd heard anything about the taxes - the accountant had been in the office - and he asked why I needed to know what was going on. *headdesk madly* Talk about violating the marriage contract. I seriously thought about just moving out at that point, because I was fast losing perspective on why I married this man. One of the reasons I decided to go to Vegas was to get away from HB for a while, and I didn't miss him for one minute while I was gone.
In addition to our money woes, there's the car:
I think I mentioned back in March that Honeybunch's car blew its transmission. Well, we're STILL working with one car. STILL. Sometimes my husband displays such poor judgment, it's unbelievable - 99% of the time he's the most straight-shooting person, but then...
Instead of following my instinct and talking to my dad (who knows every mechanic in a three-state area, it seems), Andy's boss talks him into turning the car over to a friend of a friend - which violates the two-removed rule of favor-asking. Yeah, this guy, once he got the $750 for the transmission, has been sitting on the damn thing since. It got to the point where Honeybunch had to call and threaten to call the police if his phone call wasn't returned.
The guy's wife called back. :) Then we got action, and the car was here in less than two weeks. Unfortunately, the guy BLEW THE ENGINE on the way down. So, back it went.
We'll be lucky to get the damn thing back by Christmas. And if my car lasts through Honeybunch's driving, it'll be a miracle. I've had to keep up with the maintenance on the car, and do preventative maintenance because HB will drive the damn thing dry of oil before he'd think to change the oil in MY car. He drives my car like it's a rental, which pisses me off every time he takes me somewhere. So, like, every damn day.
Things are looking up at the moment.
I sat HB down and told him, in no uncertain terms, that I couldn't go on like this. If he couldn't get his side of things together, and keep me updated, our relationship would be over.
Right now, we know what we owe for 2005, and the accountant is working HB's 2004 numbers to see what he can do. The numbers are MUCH lower than we'd anticipated. We'll get our own accountant and set up quarterly payments from now on.
I have another possible job opportunity coming down the pike which will certainly help to get the bills paid down and us on a track to more solvency. HB can help, and if I'm tapped for two responsibilities - it'll be service and double the money.
Thanks to those of you who've heard bits and pieces of these things and offered sympathy and support. It means a lot when you can't go to your family.
I'm so happy to see all of the wonderful things that are happening to people on my flist. New cars, babies, jobs, interviews, decorating, houses. To those of you who are having some angst, you have my sympathy and lots of positive vibes headed your way *eyes
merrydrought and blue_eye*Finally, I've been under a small hiatus on news this past week (this is why I've been less responsive lately,
authenticpoppy) - I was getting to the point where I couldn't listen to NPR news without my chin wobbling. The Harry Connick, Jr. single had me flat-out bawling last night, after listening to an interview with a man in NO who is sharing a small trailer with two other men, and who doesn't know where his father, brothers, or 6 year old daughter are. My problems? Not so bad.