Week In Review
Mar. 18th, 2006 03:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quidditchgrrlI know you are all excited to hear about my week. *crickets chirp*
First of all, my car is finished and I can pick it up Monday morning! OMGYAY. Nothing sucks more than being carless in a city with crappy public transport.
My niece is pregnant. Haven't decided whether or not I'm really happy about that, but so long as she's happy, I'm happy.
ETA: My niece is almost 21 and has an 18-month old and is married to a military man.
My sister and I are going out tomorrow to shop, then get Nat's ears pierced. (I guess this is better than waiting until she's seven or eight, when she can pick at her ears and give herself infections easily.) Haven't decided how I feel about that, either. *shrugs*
Maybe I should make waffles tomorrow, just to make it three out of three.
I've been amused by several emails I've received this week. One, for you Columbus folks, is
Order yours TODAY! There is one to fit EVERY Columbus lifestyle!!!!!
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition Barbie Dolls for the central Ohio market:
Powell Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Polaris Fashion Place. She comes with an assortment of Coach handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter $2,000,000 house. Available with or without tummy tuck and/or facelift. Workaholic Ken only sold in conjunction with the augmented version.
Westerville Barbie: This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.
Linden Area Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with 9mm handgun, Ray Lewis knife, a Pontiac with dark tinted windows and a crack pipe. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for with cash (preferably small, untraceable bills). Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about.
Dublin (Wonderful) Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and Scioto Country Club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
West Side Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and a Tweety Bird tattoo on one shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD box set. She can spit over five feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a Confederate bumper sticker absolutely free.
Bexley Barbie: This collagen-injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard-print outfit and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available.
South End Barbie: This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of another Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
Clintonville Barbie: This Barbie is made out of actual tofu. She has long, straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, and she would like you to call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Clintonville Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
Northland Barbie: This Barbie now comes with stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
German Village/Short North Barbie/Ken: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.
Also, Sarah Brightman's cover of "What A Wonderful World"? Makes my ears BLEED. Some things are just not meant to be butchered with a vibretto.
However, Norah Jones and Charlie Hunter's cover of "More Than This" is like buttah.
First of all, my car is finished and I can pick it up Monday morning! OMGYAY. Nothing sucks more than being carless in a city with crappy public transport.
My niece is pregnant. Haven't decided whether or not I'm really happy about that, but so long as she's happy, I'm happy.
ETA: My niece is almost 21 and has an 18-month old and is married to a military man.
My sister and I are going out tomorrow to shop, then get Nat's ears pierced. (I guess this is better than waiting until she's seven or eight, when she can pick at her ears and give herself infections easily.) Haven't decided how I feel about that, either. *shrugs*
Maybe I should make waffles tomorrow, just to make it three out of three.
I've been amused by several emails I've received this week. One, for you Columbus folks, is
Order yours TODAY! There is one to fit EVERY Columbus lifestyle!!!!!
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition Barbie Dolls for the central Ohio market:
Powell Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Polaris Fashion Place. She comes with an assortment of Coach handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter $2,000,000 house. Available with or without tummy tuck and/or facelift. Workaholic Ken only sold in conjunction with the augmented version.
Westerville Barbie: This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.
Linden Area Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with 9mm handgun, Ray Lewis knife, a Pontiac with dark tinted windows and a crack pipe. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for with cash (preferably small, untraceable bills). Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about.
Dublin (Wonderful) Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and Scioto Country Club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
West Side Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and a Tweety Bird tattoo on one shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD box set. She can spit over five feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a Confederate bumper sticker absolutely free.
Bexley Barbie: This collagen-injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard-print outfit and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available.
South End Barbie: This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of another Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
Clintonville Barbie: This Barbie is made out of actual tofu. She has long, straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, and she would like you to call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Clintonville Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
Northland Barbie: This Barbie now comes with stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
German Village/Short North Barbie/Ken: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.
Also, Sarah Brightman's cover of "What A Wonderful World"? Makes my ears BLEED. Some things are just not meant to be butchered with a vibretto.
However, Norah Jones and Charlie Hunter's cover of "More Than This" is like buttah.
