Only Slightly Off-Kilter

How to know when you're experiencing PMS:

1.  You're eating peanut butter out of the jar
2.  You add green olives to the mix, sounds pretty good (and IS!)
3.  Instead of grabbing the soymilk (that stuff does nothing to cut the film of peanut butter from the roof of your mouth!), you make the decision to pour yourself a glass of high-octane 2% cow's milk
4.  You see a package of leftover Easter ham, and think, ham and peanut butter sandwich sounds pretty good...
5.  You must talk yourself out of eating possibly spoiled meat and are sad :(
6.  You are enraged that you forgot to buy pickles, and irrationally blame your husband, who goes to the grocery store twice a year
7.  Grab a handful of Lay's Classic potato chips and the olives
8.  Make plans to repeat for at least three days (but add Claussen pickles)

And I always gain about 8 pounds of water weight, too.  Damn hormones.

So, ladies, how can you tell you're experiencing the joys of womanhood?