quidditchgrrl (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
quidditchgrrl) wrote2003-05-13 02:43 pm
quidditchgrrl) wrote2003-05-13 02:43 pm
Ack.
I made reference to this in a response to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
liss1224, but I am still in freak-out mode. As I've mentioned before, I'm an advisor for a girls' youth group. Ninety-nine percent of the time I don't have to deal directly with the tough problems of the teenage set (my girls are mainly suburban trophy children) - drugs, violence, drinking, etc.
It would be easier if it were one of the above. I received an e-mail earlier today from K, mom to W. She told me that W's friend A (who's a member of our group too) is now living with them, as A's parents have kicked her out of the house. The reason - A is a known bulimic, and her parents found dishes in her room. A huge fight ensued, and she was told to leave because she 'didn't love her family enough' if she was going to continue to binge/purge. A left and called W and asked to stay for a while.
What I'm wondering is how involved I should get in this? I'm very loathe to call A's parents - I doubt they'd listen to anything I have to say. I can see why A would be under enormous strain - her mother is the Martha Stewart type, hypercritical about fat and calories and being 'feminine'. A's sister was a heavy drug abuser in high school, and her dad is a doormat. K has spoken to A's parents, but they seem to be unwilling to make a concilatory gesture at this point. And confronting A at this point (even to give her a helpline number) might start another cycle of bingeing/purging. I'm at a loss as to what to do.
Why would you deny help if one of your kids were in trouble? They denied their older daughter's drug problem too, and said the exact same thing to her - her 'imperfection' and cry for help indicated a lack of love towards her parents. I wonder if they've ever considered that they are putting forth a lack of acceptance and love? A is a great girl (at least the face she's showing to the world) - beautiful, bubbly, vivacious, and caring - I can't imagine anyone, much less a parent, refusing to send a troubled girl to counseling when it's clear that she needs it.
Just wanted to get that off of my chest and see if anyone out there can supply me with some words of wisdom. S, if you're reading this, please keep it under wraps.
liss1224, but I am still in freak-out mode. As I've mentioned before, I'm an advisor for a girls' youth group. Ninety-nine percent of the time I don't have to deal directly with the tough problems of the teenage set (my girls are mainly suburban trophy children) - drugs, violence, drinking, etc.It would be easier if it were one of the above. I received an e-mail earlier today from K, mom to W. She told me that W's friend A (who's a member of our group too) is now living with them, as A's parents have kicked her out of the house. The reason - A is a known bulimic, and her parents found dishes in her room. A huge fight ensued, and she was told to leave because she 'didn't love her family enough' if she was going to continue to binge/purge. A left and called W and asked to stay for a while.
What I'm wondering is how involved I should get in this? I'm very loathe to call A's parents - I doubt they'd listen to anything I have to say. I can see why A would be under enormous strain - her mother is the Martha Stewart type, hypercritical about fat and calories and being 'feminine'. A's sister was a heavy drug abuser in high school, and her dad is a doormat. K has spoken to A's parents, but they seem to be unwilling to make a concilatory gesture at this point. And confronting A at this point (even to give her a helpline number) might start another cycle of bingeing/purging. I'm at a loss as to what to do.
Why would you deny help if one of your kids were in trouble? They denied their older daughter's drug problem too, and said the exact same thing to her - her 'imperfection' and cry for help indicated a lack of love towards her parents. I wonder if they've ever considered that they are putting forth a lack of acceptance and love? A is a great girl (at least the face she's showing to the world) - beautiful, bubbly, vivacious, and caring - I can't imagine anyone, much less a parent, refusing to send a troubled girl to counseling when it's clear that she needs it.
Just wanted to get that off of my chest and see if anyone out there can supply me with some words of wisdom. S, if you're reading this, please keep it under wraps.
no subject
As for starting another binge/purge cycle, you shouldn't let that keep you from giving her a helpline number. Your giving her the helpline info won't "cause" her bulimic behavior. Her bulimia is a mental illness that she can't control. Ultimately she's the only one who can work on her illness, but you're right to give her the tools she needs to do it. As for those tools, if her parents won't send her to counseling, is there some way she can get counseling through her school? Or is there some informal eating disorder support group around that you can find for her? She's got to take the final step, but if you can help, so much the better.
no subject
I am having a hard time understanding how the parents kicked their teenage daughter out - over something like this. I mean, sure my family had its issues but they got me help when I obviously needed it - even if they didn't like the bills or the stigma of therapy. They understand it was necessary if I was going to get better - I'm getting from what you said about these parents - they aren't going to think the same way? Would the parents that the girl is now staying with be able to speak with them? They might be more receptive to other parents - possibly.